RELAX...it's just Facebook :-)

From Kimberly Jones-Pothier: The enemy loves to distract us with that ugly offense spirit. He can't mess with you physically or even take things away from you, because he's not capable, where he gets you, is in your mind. If he sees a crack in a doorway of your life, he's going to create havoc in your life. Pay attention to your heart posture. Don't jump to conclusions, getting mad at someone when you don't have all of your facts straight. An ugly heart will block your blessings. Communication KILLS assumption.

 

Example: getting mad at people that delete you. Facebook has glitches, people get unfriended often without people being aware. Relax…It's just Facebook!

Example: seeing someone's status update and assuming they are talking about you. Relax…They probably aren't even thinking about you.

Example: seeing one of your friends liking one of your "use to be friends" status updates. Feeling like they are choosing them over you. Relax…Just because you don't like them don't mean they don't have to like them.

Example: seeing that “church gossip” from your church preaching about exactly what she does on Facebook. Relax...Maybe God's doing a work in her heart. Maybe she's preaching to herself!

Example: seeing pictures of a bunch of your friends who went out without you and you got no invitation. Relax…Maybe it was a last minute decision and they all invited themselves and didn't need a formal invite.

Example: thinking a person changed because they don't give you the attention they use too. Relax…Maybe their lives have gotten so busy that they're still trying to figure out how to juggle it all. Or maybe they're in their own storm and it has nothing to do with you. They just choose to not be down and out in public.

Example: getting offended when people you know don't ever "like" your Facebook status. Relax...Maybe they don't want 1000 notifications. Just do you!

Example: seeing that person you went on a date with who promised you they would text you the next day and they haven't, but yet they are on all their social media pages. Relax…They just aren't that into you. Rejection is God's protection!

 

Social Media: Good, Bad & Ugly

So I’ve already written about social media briefly in a February entry called “Women vs Women; Let’s Stop” but it’s been a common topic in my conversations this week so it sparked the idea to write about it again and head in a different direction. 

Good- The positive things I see are that you’re able to connect with friends, browse through photo albums at your leisure, network with others, promote your business, seek suggestions and recommendations for services/products/restaurants, advocate awareness/positivity/important causes, sell/buy items, congratulate others on life events/accomplishments, keep in touch with long distance family, befriend positive role models, be in the loop about events, etc. I love seeing other people post about new careers, marriages, starting a new family, and just the goodness that occurs for others! Social media can be a very useful tool & it has been for me but it can definitely become negative too. It all depends on the USER!!  So personally I’ve never really viewed it in a negative way BUT there are people who’ve given social media a bad rep.

Bad- When people start using social media to bicker, argue in public, talk about each other, post offensive/vulgar videos, etc that’s not good use of it.  I’ve had to delete many people because there were offensive things or comments being made that I didn’t want to see! I think people forget that they are the ones choosing what they see, so instead of complaining about it take control of it and determine what stays and goes on your pages! In fact, I feel social media has altered our means of communication. It’s rare that people “talk” about their problems face to face or even by phone these days because we’ve all been consumed with technology (social media, text, emails, etc). Some people get so dependent on social media they will wait on a status to let them know what’s going on with their family or friends versus periodically checking in or talking. People are becoming more and more consumed in the social media life, spending too much time on it, posting everything that goes on with them or letting themselves feed into what others are posting and that’s not healthy for the mind. My recommendation is that if you don’t know how to balance or separate the internet world from reality than it’s best to take a few steps back.  You’re in control 24/7 about what you choose to read and you determine how you “think” about it.  Realize that it’s simply social media -- a way people express themselves and choose what they share with others so don’t confuse it with real life, it can cloud your views on others if YOU ALLOW IT. In my opinion social media can’t portray who somebody is, there’s a lot more to everyone than what they choose to share.  Why would anyone want to share EVERYTHING about them online anyways?!?

Take me for example- I’m guarded about my personal life (good & bad) so the “media world” is not the best way to get to know me.  I value genuine relationships, my family & friends so those are the people who know the most…the “world” can’t because they’re simply watching what I’ve chosen to put out. If I would’ve never posted anything about my mother having cancer or passing there would be so many people that would still not know to this day!!  When my mother was diagnosed I emailed everyone before and when she passed I text everyone that was important to me BEFORE I ever put it on Facebook! I’ve always been the type of person that would want my friends and family to know about certain things about me personally before I ever let my audience in on it. For example: baby, marriage, moving, new job, etc…by the time I’ve posted news like that my friends already know because we carry relationships outside of social media. They understand my posts without any misinterpretation because they truly know me. So when I try to pull a slick one like “engaged” they won’t ever fall for it b/c they would’ve know first…I tried it LOL.

We’re all guilty of assumptions at some point though, I know I am, but I’ve learned shift my thinking so that I’m no longer assuming b/c majority of the time that’s just a lack of understanding. Just because someone chooses to post mainly about their travels doesn’t mean all they do is stay on the road, just because someone post about their work life doesn’t mean all they care about is work, just because someone post about fitness doesn’t mean that’s all they do or care about, just because someone posts about going to the club on weekends doesn’t mean that’s the only thing they’re about, and just because someone always post negative/positive stuff doesn’t mean they don’t have their life together or that they got it all together!

Ugly- If it gets to the ugly stage than it’s just time to let it go! When you lose your job, husband/wife, friends, etc over social media it’s really not worth it. People don’t realize how big of an affect social media has become and yes it will cost you your job, I’ve been a witness to it many times. I guess people just don’t care what they post or just aren’t mindful that it’s there for EVERYONE to see…even if your page is private! Just because you have 500+ Facebook “friends” doesn’t mean they’re all your friends & you certainly aren’t going to remember who is in your list the next time you post something plus you never know what other people’s intentions are when you open yourself up to that many people. I’ve heard of people losing their loved one/friends over a “status”, “like”, or “comment” and that’s crazy! It’s not healthy for a person to let social media dictate their relationship, friendship, way of thinking, life etc. Be mindful of what you put out there and ALSO of how you take in what you’re reading. Social media can affect your mental health- one study shows that 50% said using Facebook and Twitter makes their lives worse because their self esteem suffers when they compare their own accomplishments to those of their online friends...WOW!! So don’t over consume your mind with what you see. What you may not realize you're doing to yourself is creating problems in your mind that aren’t even really there all because you have assumptions or you’re letting others influence you.

But I'd like to wrap it up with the GOOD because that's why I'm still on social media :-) I follow some great people and this person happened to post something so fitting to all of this.  So as Kimberly Jones-Pothier said “Communication KILLS assumption”. Read the next blog to see what she had to say!